My name is Sue, how do you do?

My mother drove me crazy, but she always made me smile. 

My mother made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe, and I actually accidentally peed.

My mother loved “Led Robster,” and made the best “flied lice.”

Anyone, who is anyone funded her Bingo Bankroll with the purchase of an “eck loll.”

She cussed like a sailor. Well, maybe like a frustrated pirate of sorts. 

My favorites were “focking-head” and “sar-bitch!” (I never knew if that was supposed to be “sorry bitch” or “sonofabitch.”)

No matter, they still caused a lot of giggles and snorts.

She couldn’t watch WWE or football without screaming at the tv. Which, seriously speaking now, I wonder how she would be today? You know, if she turned on the news and listened to what POTUS had to say.

My mother came to the United States, and spoke very little English. She tried very hard. She worked very hard. 

She worked very hard to be able to say: “against all enemies foreign and domestic” (you small-handed prick.)

My mother came to the United States from Thailand. She died an American Citizen. I miss her very much. She was very social, she loved people, and thought most of my friends had learning disabilities or were deaf. 

She would tell them, “Every time I ‘spuh-eek’ you look at my daughter. What’s wrong with you?”

She would tell me:


​​
Just be a good person. 

Tater Salad

Originally written May 29th 2013 probably because I couldn’t sleep, and Tayler was the last one I was thinking about at the time.


I love you, Tater Salad. Shall I count t ways? Just a few? Okay. (0:

I love your little freckles on your face. Every summer I watched new ones grow and now can say, “I told you so.”

I love your ears that you tried to hide, but now you wear messy buns and show them with pride. 

I love how I can open my mouth and no sound comes out, but we all hear the words, at The Littles, you shout.

I love how you think you can watch scary movies but watch through your fingers and mutter obscenities.

I love how in one breath you say what a jerk he can be, but write in your essays “I love Michael Lee.”

I remember fondly The Science Experiment. The one you placed second at school and third at the science fair…and really I just tricked you into combing your hair.

I love how you believe in German Cows. It’s red ones not white ones. Poppy and his onions…

I love how your face lights up when people say you look like me, act like me, or call you “Little Dee” but really sweetie you are so much more, you’ll see.

I love that you understand me, when even I don’t, or other people won’t.

I love that you are so clumsy. Walls jump out to bite you, sidewalks grab your feet and you even manage to bite your face when you eat.

I could go on forever, but the truth is I’ve run out of ways to be clever. 

Mommy loves you, for you, and all you do.

A Tale of a Tail

 

Tayler with her tail caught in the spokes of her bike. She dragged the bike like this for ONE BLOCK.

It was a beautiful day, one like no other. This unicorn went out to play, unbeknownst to her mother.

If you’ve ever seen Legend then you already know, unicorns are in danger from evil goblins or trolls. 

Feeling adventurous she went on a journey, that ended up being…oh SO funny. 

This little unicorn didn’t fall from a poisonous dart, oh no…t’was nothing so sinister or dark. 

I think it was the handlebar ribbons, that made her give in, so she took off on her bike – oh my gosh what a sight.

All good things come to an end, what a said looking little unicorn friend. 

Try as she might, she couldn’t hide out of sight, her tail in the spokes as she dragged her bike.

Hearing strange sounds coming from down the street, her mother had to go on the porch to take a peek. 

What she heard was the rythmic scraping of metal as it’s dragged a few seconds, and then stifled sniffles.

Knowing her story was never believable, Mommy grabbed her camera – her attempts to hide it were feeble. 😏

Mom took some pics and the unicorn protested, but her escape was a little complicated.

Eventually she was able to free her tail from the horrible bike with the enticing streamers. Tayler wore that costume until it was too small. She gave it to a thrift store instead of her sister, because she couldn’t bear to see someone else to wear it.

Since I’m not a poet, the rest of my tale is:

I asked Tayler, “why didn’t you call for mommy to help you?”

She said, studying the picture, “Why didn’t I just take the suit OFF?!”

Great question. That’s how I know you don’t need “mommy” anymore, you thought of a solution I didn’t. 😊 That’s how it works.

Tayler is currently continuing her “therapy” from childhood adventures like these, at MCRD – Parris Island.

 

Spiders, Flip Flops, & Fortitude

  

These guys love the laundry room in the summer. Actually, the bathroom in general. These playful creatures often like to engage in games like: Hide-n-Seek, Tag, and my personal favorite…PEEK-A-BOO!  

They’re also little perverts. I’ve caught these “Peeping Toms” in the bathtub many times. Their favorite is to wait until you’ve closed your eyes as you rinse shampoo from your hair, sneak out into plain sight, and wait for you to open your eyes. Again with the games…SURPRISE! There was one I named Andre (the giant) was so good at this game I think I looked like the chick from the movie Fargo when she takes out the shower curtain trying to flee for her life.

The reason for this story is that my daughter, Tayler, was so fortunate to have met Andre (or his bigger brother) also while showering. She screamed for me to come play too.

T: “MOM!! Get it!” (Andre – the size of a fifth cent piece-is on the ceiling right above the shower head…Tayler in the far corner.)

Me: 😱 “Eff. No.”

T: (strangled whisper) “Mom…please…”
So I try to swat Andre with my flip flop, but I’m short – so I just kind of brushed him off the ceiling.

T: “OH MY GOD MOM!!”

Me: “OH MY GOD TAYLER!! I’m so sorry! Use the water to get him down the drain!”

I hear sniffles.

Me: “Are you freaking CRYING?!”

T: “Yes…but it’s not in here with me.”

So now we’re playing Hide-n-Seek. I see Andre, on the shower curtain in front of my face. I don’t scream because…well, what if Andre jumps in my mouth? Fear makes people irrational. Don’t judge.

As I scrambled back in horror, Andre tried to play Tag. Once I saw he missed and landed on the floor, I felt it was safe to scream.

The bathroom door bursts open and Tookie quickly assessed the situation, “tagged” Andre and then tossed him in the toilet and walked out.

Tookie saved us, and Tayler finished her shower.

Tayler is currently in therapy at MCRD Parris Island, overcoming fear.  

The Color Rose

I’m one of those people who will close my eyes, open my Bible and point to a spot on the page then read the scripture that I randomly picked, then wonder in amazement how that verse seemed to fit in my life today.   That’s typically how I pick where to read, or how I pick my “Scripture of the Day” for my posts. At least I open it and it’s not just collecting dust on my nightstand. I think that’s how most people who say things like, “God bless you” but don’t go to church regularly, aren’t saved but say they believe, typically do things. They’re standing there at the open doorway, just waiting to take a step. Whether it’s toward, or away, could be up to you. You never, ever, really know what motivates a person.
 
Everything I post is for my amusement, entertainment and from my perspective. How I see things, not anyone else. I certainly don’t claim to be an expert at anything, other than being me. I also never posted that I am a Christian, how other people should live their lives, or that I am always right.
 
Social Media is a double-edged sword wielding giant. Used for great things, but people have to choose whether they will use their “powers” for good or evil. For the most part people I think people are “lukewarm” – there is a scripture I like that could go with that, but I don’t want to seem  self-righteous.
 
Speaking of self-righteous and social media, I did something yesterday. Quite purposely, to see what kind of reactions I would get. I must say I was surprised…at first. Then when I thought about it some more, I was more disappointed, but not surprised. It is what it is, and life will go on.
 
When I scroll through my FB newsfeed there are people who post pics of their families and kids and talk about how wonderful their life is together, etc. These posts get criticized because, “we know your life isn’t that perfect” or “no one is that happy”, so along with the “dislike button” we wish for an “eye roll” button.
 
Usually, I post things that have to do with cooking, because that’s what I like. Other times I post about my kids, TONS of pictures and then of course Hubs. I tease my Hubs often. I joke that I do all the heavy thinking or I tease him, publicly, for the silly things he does. It’s funny to me, and it’s funny to other people – including Hubs. I don’t know this because people “like” my FB posts, I know this because we are often approached while grocery shopping, at games or just out and about. They tell us, “omg that made me laugh. You guys are crazy!”  These aren’t secrets people. I’m not talking shit about my husband “behind his back”…on the Internet.  (Duh.)
Then there are the posts where people bitch and moan and air their dirty laundry with filthy language (can’t spell for shit – yes, I know I have misspellings here and there but you can tell I at least made it to 8th grade) and just draw/spread negativity. Then again, I can’t presume to know someone’s motivation behind their posts. It’s not for me to speculate or judge, criticize or assume. Wait…that’s getting a little Christian-ish so…let’s go back to my FB post.
 
If you have read my blog, here is what you should know about me so far:
  • I am trying to apply daily scripture to my day’s experience.  – Now, I did not grow up in the church, I do not have a set devotional time, and I am practicing to be a Christian. I don’t think I can say that I actually am one, because Christian is  “Christ-like” and well…clearly I am not.
  • I am only human. I am a stay at home mother (SAHM), love my children and my husband very much, but often feel like poking them in the eye with a sharp stick.(That’s normal, but it’s not nice.) I cuss, (it’s not ladylike and a bad habit, but at least I don’t smoke anymore) and I covet. I will window shop online and covet like a madwoman.
  • I pick a random scripture and try to apply it to my own personal current events. I am not trying to actually create dialogue about religion, beliefs, and have actual theology discussions. I am certainly not flinging scripture at you in the same manner a monkey flings shit at the zoo. 
  • I started blogging to laugh at myself and my weaknesses. You know, when I stumble from trying to be Christ-like. Being a nice person ALL the time is hard, especially in this society. I think I am showing you I am aware of my weaknesses and what I do to try to correct my behavior, as best I can. I’m not blogging for approval or acceptance. I’m bored and just like everyone else that has a blog for whatever reason, I too, am inflicting my opinions on the world.
So…FB. I am one of those people who posts often. Mostly those annoying pictures of food and my kids, or my kids making food. Mostly they are moments I catch my people doing things that warm my heart or make me proud. Me, not you…but I’m going to share that moment with you. I laughed, maybe you will too. I thought it was cute, maybe you will too. Perhaps you had a shitty day and my #GilbertFunnies made you smile. Mission accomplished. Have a nice day. Mostly, it’s because in that moment I captured, for one reason or another, “my cup runneth over” and I am excited about life in general. Maybe I offended you. Maybe, you offended me first, or maybe…I just don’t care.
 
Do you remember that movie, “Castaway” with Tom Hanks and his friend Wilson, the volleyball? There is a scene in that movie that describes the feeling behind my FB posts.
 


Yesterday I posted this:
 
FB
 
I do complain, but this post is not how I actually feel about Hubs. Not everything is moonlight and roses, so let’s re-examine this post, this time through rose-colored glasses. I think everyone should have an imaginary pair to look through whenever things seem negative or hard or frustrating. I use mine when I’m looking for my daily blessing I said I would post.
 
What first changed the attitude of this post was my adding, “while you were sleeping”.   Of course Hubs was sleeping in, it’s his day off. Why shouldn’t he? Have you not been reading how he is a hard worker? In fact, if I wrote this on a work day, it would have been, “while you were at work…” because Gilbert wakes up at 4:30 a.m. to commute to work. He leaves the house around 4:45 a.m., picks up The Guys that he gives rides to, and works a long, gross and laborious day. He usually gets home by 4 p.m. and then we are off to some school/kid related thing.  He works at a Hog Farm and it took me about a year to get used to the pig smell that still lingers on his hands after he’s showered. He works 7 days on 3 days off and then the following week it’s 8 on and 3 off – but in my husband’s case lately he’s been working 9 on 1 off and then 10 on and 1 off.
 
I worded my FB post that way because people are selfish and complainers. While you were thinking that about me, did you remember to thank YOUR spouse for being YOUR spouse today?  Things aren’t always pretty and relationships are never perfect, but sometimes if you use your rose-colored glasses, they do help you see what my favorite pastor reminds us often.
 
You’re doing better than you think you are.
 
Love your people, remember to thank them for just being them, and cherish every minute you have. Life itself is never guaranteed, so not only should you stop and smell the roses once in awhile, try looking at things through rose-colored glasses a little more often and when you do, don’t think that you are trying to make things better than they actually are. Believe that things are not as bad as you are making it seem.
 
“While you were sleeping” – is a fact. Hubs was sleeping in.
“Finally fixed the kitchen drawer…” – is a fact. I kept saying I would get to it and I finally did.
“…organized the crap…” – well, they are junk drawers and some of it is just crap taking up space. It did need organizing, I just needed to fix the drawer first.
“You’re also welcome for drinking my coffee…” – Hubs drinks my coffee every time he has the day off. He thinks he’s funny, but I know he’s going to. That’s why I make a bigger pot on those days.
“The first thing you do is speak to me in a tone that pisses me off…” – true, but sometimes people misunderstand, misinterpret and start shit for no apparent reason than it’s human nature.
 
My post wasn’t mean and complaining. It was the tone you chose to read it in.

Scripture of the Day:

2 Timothy 2:23-25(NLT)
23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.

Blessing:

Today’s blessing that I would like to highlight is my son Michael. I’m thankful my husband has affordable medical insurance for our family, and feel in my heart it is a real blessing that the news was ‘only’ that he cannot continue to wrestle his senior year. It could have been so much worse.
 
My blog is my Wilson.
 
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