My mother drove me crazy, but she always made me smile. 

My mother made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe, and I actually accidentally peed.

My mother loved “Led Robster,” and made the best “flied lice.”

Anyone, who is anyone funded her Bingo Bankroll with the purchase of an “eck loll.”

She cussed like a sailor. Well, maybe like a frustrated pirate of sorts. 

My favorites were “focking-head” and “sar-bitch!” (I never knew if that was supposed to be “sorry bitch” or “sonofabitch.”)

No matter, they still caused a lot of giggles and snorts.

She couldn’t watch WWE or football without screaming at the tv. Which, seriously speaking now, I wonder how she would be today? You know, if she turned on the news and listened to what POTUS had to say.

My mother came to the United States, and spoke very little English. She tried very hard. She worked very hard. 

She worked very hard to be able to say: “against all enemies foreign and domestic” (you small-handed prick.)

My mother came to the United States from Thailand. She died an American Citizen. I miss her very much. She was very social, she loved people, and thought most of my friends had learning disabilities or were deaf. 

She would tell them, “Every time I ‘spuh-eek’ you look at my daughter. What’s wrong with you?”

She would tell me:

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Just be a good person. 

Tayler with her tail caught in the spokes of her bike. She dragged the bike like this for ONE BLOCK.

It was a beautiful day, one like no other. This unicorn went out to play, unbeknownst to her mother.

If you’ve ever seen Legend then you already know, unicorns are in danger from evil goblins or trolls. 

Feeling adventurous she went on a journey, that ended up being…oh SO funny. 

This little unicorn didn’t fall from a poisonous dart, oh no…t’was nothing so sinister or dark. 

I think it was the handlebar ribbons, that made her give in, so she took off on her bike – oh my gosh what a sight.

All good things come to an end, what a said looking little unicorn friend. 

Try as she might, she couldn’t hide out of sight, her tail in the spokes as she dragged her bike.

Hearing strange sounds coming from down the street, her mother had to go on the porch to take a peek. 

What she heard was the rythmic scraping of metal as it’s dragged a few seconds, and then stifled sniffles.

Knowing her story was never believable, Mommy grabbed her camera – her attempts to hide it were feeble. 😏

Mom took some pics and the unicorn protested, but her escape was a little complicated.

Eventually she was able to free her tail from the horrible bike with the enticing streamers. Tayler wore that costume until it was too small. She gave it to a thrift store instead of her sister, because she couldn’t bear to see someone else to wear it.

Since I’m not a poet, the rest of my tale is:

I asked Tayler, “why didn’t you call for mommy to help you?”

She said, studying the picture, “Why didn’t I just take the suit OFF?!”

Great question. That’s how I know you don’t need “mommy” anymore, you thought of a solution I didn’t. 😊 That’s how it works.

Tayler is currently continuing her “therapy” from childhood adventures like these, at MCRD – Parris Island.